Boom

Lensed by Petrut Vlad.

Lensed by Petrut Vlad.

EN:

The first line is always the hardest.

The first word is written and erased for a billion of times before it finds its place at the very beginning of the story. 

I'm in a constant search for a better sentence, a more relevant subject or for more hope between the lines.

But apart from all that, sometimes I wonder why I'm talking to you in the first place. Who are you really and why are you looking inside my mind?

You may not know this, but I often imagine your face while you're reading my words, listening to the hum of your whispers while you go through every line.

I make that hum when I'm writing and my lover always laughs at me because of it. 

It's almost like saying a silent spell, white a song is born from the emotions it triggers, taking gasps of air only between thoughts.

Look, in my absence from social media, that I know I'm guilty for, I've done some serious soul searching.

I started feeling blogging isn't as rewarding anymore.  Like I need more from it. And I know what it is! I'm going to wrap it all up in one single, familiar word, that we're all in desperate need for.

Honesty. - That's what I need.

I decided I'm going to be more sincere both to myself, and to you guys. More honest than I ever knew I could be.

I came to this conclusion after hour long talks with different people, that helped me realise this: Blogging just isn't as fun anymore.

Just like that. Poof - something happened.

I've thought long and hard and I figured this out: I changed. No, actually that I'm in a constant change. And that, in a way or another, I'm going to need to adapt this blog to the new me, even if I'm barely discovering it myself. I'll have to embrace this if I want to make things work.

I've been feeling a sort of pressure to fit a certain image, to embody a stereotype that is already so cliche. I struggle in following the rules set by others, about what this blog should be, or what I should be, as a muse or as a woman.

Well, I can't and I won't.

This blog will not follow any norms, aside from the standards me and you will set for it. And I'm going to be stronger than ever before in my fight against falling in those misconceptions.

And you, you won't be one of those people that waist there days on Facebook, scrolling emotionless, without a shiver or a recollection. No. You'll be the one with the hum. The one that comes for what she wants.

I'll only be talking to you.

That's it! I'll just do things my way and I'll feel great about blogging again, just like I was before. I'll have my world back, the one that I created for us.

You.. you know who you are. You can feel it. You know I'm talking to you. And I feel it too.

Right here, from my heated keyboard, I feel were talking.

RO:

Primul rand e cel mai greu.

Primul cuvant il scriu si il sterg de zeci de ori inainte sa ma hotarasc sa-l las acolo, provizoriu, doar ca sa ma pot adanci in text macar putin.

Caut mereu o formulare mai potrivita, un continut mai relevant si o farama de speranta in ceea ce vreau sa transmit.

Dar uneori ma intreb de ce povestesc cu tine defapt, si cine esti tu, acela sau aceea care-mi citesti sufletul acum?

Nu stiai asta, dar de cele mai multe ori ma gandesc la fata ta. La expresia fetei tale in timp ce-mi vezi cuvintele alineate si imi imaginez zumzetul pe care-l faci in timp ce citesti.

Eu il fac in timp ce scriu si Andrei rade de mine de fiecare data.

E aproape ca si cand ai recita un descantec, o magie, un sunet al emotilor care din exterior e doar o respiratie apasata si cu pauze intre ganduri.

Uite, in lipsa prezentei mele online, pe care stiu ca am avut-o, am contemplat mult.

Simt acum ca am nevoie de ceva mai mult de la blogging.. si am sa rezum totul intr-un cuvant. Unul atat de familiar, dar atat de rar intalnit.

Sinceritate. - De asta am nevoie.

Am decis sa fiu mai sincera cu mine si cu tine. Mai sincera decat pana acum si mai sincera decat credeam ca voi putea fi.

Asta pentru ca dupa multe cugetari si discutii aprinse cu oameni mai apropaiti si mai putin apropiati, am ajuns la concluzia ca bloggingul, dintr-un motiv sau altul, a ajuns sa nu-mi mai aduca aceeasi satisfactie.

Poof! Ceva s-a dus.

M-am tot gandit ce s-a intamplat si am conclus ca m-am schimbat. Ba nu. Ca sunt intr-o continua schimbare si ca va trebui sa adaptez blogul in functie de aceste schimbari, daca vreau sa fac ca lucrurile sa mearga.

Simt ca presiunea din exterior ma constrange si ma apasa sa intruchipez un model deja fumat. Sa ma adaptez regulilor stabilite de altii, despre ceea ce ar trebui sa fie acest blog sau eu, ca muza sau ca femeie.

Ei bine, nu se poate.

Blogul nu se va mai plia dupa nimeni si nimic, inafara de mine si de tine. Iar eu am de gand sa fiu mai puternica in a ma distanta cat mai tare de influentele din exterior.

Si tu, tu nu vei mai fi omul de rand care isi pierde zilele pe Facebook, dand scroll fara sa simta nici macar o amintire sau un tremur, ci tu vei fi persoana care citeste cu zumzet. Care vine tintit.

Doar cu tine voi mai sta de povesti.

Voi face lucrurile in felul meu si asa voi ajunge sa ma bucur din nou de lumea pe care am creat-o, pentru mine si pentru tine.

Tu stii deja cine esti. Simti ca vorbesc cu tine - si eu la fel.

Simt de aici, de la tastatura mea deja calda, ca povestim.

Now that I've manned up a lil' bit, I want to let you know that I'll try to be as transparent as I can from now on. At least I'll try.

But I'm already grinning from letting all these emotions out. I feel the way I hope this pictures inspire, stronger.

I want to thank you for being so patient with me and for coming along on my journey, no matter what phases I'm going through.

Acum ca mi-am scris textul de imbarbatare, as vrea sa-ti spun ca voi incerca sa fiu cat de transparenta pot mai departe. Cel putin am sa incerc.

Si deja ranjesc numai de la gandul ca m-am eliberat de niste emotii si ca, asa cum si pozele pe care ti le arat astazi vor sa inspire, ma simt puternica.

Si vreau sa-ti multumesc. Pentru rabdare pe care o ai cu mine si faptul ca esti aici prin toate fazele prin care trec.

 

Outfit details

 

I said that I'll be transparent and because I know you're also here for the more practical side of my articles, I will be more explicit in describing pictures. Starting with my outfit, makeup and so on.

So, as an obsessed Zara person, I must say that the high-waisted skirt, my blouse and the stiletto shoes are from that store.

The bra is my absolutely favourite, I wear it almost daily and it's from Victoria's Secret. I picked it up last summer when I was in the States and I really look forward to the next opportunity to buy another one or two just like it.

The bag I got for my birthday from my best friend. It's signed by a Romanian designer's, Cathias Edeline. I'm waiting to see how the leather and the silver accessories behave in time, hmm.

My only hand accessory is the Apple Watch, It's also a buy from last summer, from New York, where they have an Apple store Non-Stop. (That really impressed us both.)

I ordered the leather accessory that I took over my skirt, over the web about half a year ago, on a site with English accessories with a bondage inspiration. Even though it's not branded, it looks brilliant. It's a little tight for me, so if you like it and would want to own it, just leave me a comment and I'll sell it to you. I got it for 30 euro and I'd give it for the same amount.

I got the glasses from a new website in Romania, called Shades Eyewear, for which I posed recently and from where I got a bunch of very stylish pairs that I've been wearing all the time in the last month.

Regarding the make-up, I changed my foundation and I'm absolutely impressed by it. It's HD Perfect Coverup from Inglot - I recommend it with the utmost confidence.

For my eyebrow I use products from Anastasia Beverly Hills and the lipstick is my favourite shade from MAC - Living Legend.

Si pentru ca am spus ca voi fi transparenta si pentru ca stiu ca te intreseaza si latura mai practica a articolelor mele, am sa fiu mai explicita si in descrierea pozelor. Incepand de la tinuta, la machiaj s.a.m.d.

Asadar, ca o obsedata de Zara ce sunt, atat fusta cu talie inalta, bluzita si pantofii stiletto sunt de la ei.

Sutienul e absolut preferatul meu, pe care il port aproape zilnic, de la Victoria's Secret. L-am cules vara trecuta, cand am fost in State si abia astept ocazia sa imi mai iau cateva la fel.

Geanta am primit-o de ziua mea de la prietena mea cea mai buna. E creatia unui designer roman, Cathias Edeline. Astept sa vad cum se comporta in timp pielea si accesoriile argintii, hmm.

Ceasul e Apple Watch, l-am luat tot vara trecuta, dupa mizeul noptii din New York, unde au magazin un Apple non-stop. ( Asta chiar ne-a dat gata pe amandoi.)

Accesoriul din piele care vine peste fusta, l-am comandat de pe net acum cam jumatate de an, de pe un site englezesc cu accesorii cu inspiratie bondage. Desi nu e de o firma anume, dar arata genial. Mie mi-e putin stramtut, deci daca iti place si il vrei poti sa-mi lasi un comment si ti-l trimit tie. L-am luat cu 30 de euro si l-as da cu acelasi pret.

Ochelarii ii am de pe un site nou in Romania, Shades Eyewear, pentru care am pozat decurand si care m-au cadorisit cu cateva perechi foarte stylish, pe care i-am purtat mai mereu in ultima luna.

In ceea ce priveste make-up-ul, mi-am schimbat fondul de ten si e absolut genial. E vorba de HD Perfect Coverup de la Inglot din Iulius. - Il recomand cu cea mai mare incredere.

Pentru sprancene folosesc produsele de la Anastasia Beverly Hills, iar rujul e nuanta mea preferata de la MAC - Living Legend.

Ever since I wear lash extensions, I use my illuminator on my eyelids too. ( I wrote about that product here ) I like the way it makes both my lids and my lashed pop. If you like the lashes, I wrote another article about them right here. Florentina opened a pearl of a salone in Andrei Muresanu, called Sublime. I really think you should pay her a visit. ( They're addictive, beware! )

That's about it for now. I'll tell you more about my saviour hair products I use ever since I cut my hair in the close future, and some more about my whiter smile, haha. I tested a few things from albirea-dintilor.com lately and the results are quite amazing.

Ok, I'm done for today! We'll chat more in the comment section, kay?

Kisses!

Iar de cand port extensii de gene, obisnuiesc sa folosesc iluminatorul ( am scris despre el aici ) si pentru pleoape, asa incat sa fie un contrast cat mai mare de la genute la pielea din spatele lor. Daca va plac, am scris mai demult un articol pe tema asta pe care il poti gasi aici. Florentina si-a deschis o frumusete de salon pe nume Sublime in Andrei Muresanu si merita sa-i faceti o vizita. ( Aveti grija - dau dependenta! Hihi )

In rest, am sa va mai povestesc in viitorul apropait mai multe despre produsele de par pe care le folosesc de cand m-am tuns ( si care simt ca mi-au schimbat viata, haha ) si inalbitorul de dinti pe care l-am testat decurand, de pe albirea-dintilor.com.

Bun. Mai multe povesitm in comentarii.

Va pup!